Was just chatting with my mother this evening about how depressed I was in the first two months of motherhood. It felt like my life was over for real! I couldn’t eat, bathe, sleep or go out for errands in peace! 😂
I didn’t feel good – I was tired all the time, I was struggling to produce sufficient milk for my baby and I had tremendous aches and pains in my body. I often struggled with panic attacks in the middle of the night which would lead to breathlessness, nausea and gastritis.
I didn’t look good – I still looked pregnant even after 3 months postpartum. Even now at 5 months postpartum, I still have a slight pooch. But it was tough then, to be reminded by some people that I was fat. 🤣 nevertheless, it gave me some perspective to how overweight people might feel about themselves since I’ve been scrawny all my life.
I feel so much more settled and at peace as a mother now. I’m so thankful that David is growing well overall though we still do have hiccups along the way.
Talking to a friend who just gave birth less than a month ago made me recollect back my earlier months as a newbie mummy and I realise again how important it is to be there for your friend, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law etc when they have just had a baby. With hormones going out of whack and the tremendous emotional and physical upheaval that pregnancy and childbirth brings to a woman, she just needs encouragement, love and support.
For me, I’m so thankful when I recall the different women who have encouraged me by their words of assurance. They humbly shared with me their challenges and struggles in the past too, and that made me feel less of a failure while comforting me that baby, daddy and I would get through that phase.
Some things I especially appreciated during those moments
1. Food delivery by my mother and mother-in-law – that helped tremendously since we did not employ a confinement lady or help with the baby.
2. Text messages from mums near n far to check on me, while offering advice when necessary. 😆
3. A very very supportive, loving husband who assured me when I felt fat, ugly, hormonal… (you get my drift). He was my anchor during the lonely nights when baby was difficult or when I was unwell. For this, I will always be grateful.
4. An aunty who would always drop by with whatever I needed. You name it, she had it. 😀 just having that person whom you feel comfortable enough to ask for help means a lot.
5. Kind nurses from the Klinik Kesihatan who came to check on me the first month post delivery.
6. People who went out of their way to be a blessing to us, special shout out to my brother Sam who was our runner boy for the time he was here in penang ❤ also friends and relatives who went through the trouble of helping us get used/new clothing, baby paraphernalia, etc…
It truly does take a village to raise a child!
Looking back, I am grateful I went through the challenges I did, so that I can be hopefully, a more understanding person to all the women in my life who have become mothers. It also makes me respect and love my mother more deeply for all the sacrifices she has made for me and for my family. (she had 4 Csecs okay, don’t play play)
So go show the new mummies and daddies you know some love – I am sure it will be appreciated and remembered.