Refinement is a state of the heart…

_MG_8281“True refinement is not mere outside polish. It goes deeper and penetrates to the very foundation of character. It is purity, gentleness and grace in the heart, which, like the perfume of flowers, breathes out and bathes all the life in sweetness. It is not mental culture; there is true refinement often where education has been limited, where in the speech you may detect faults and errors. On the other hand, there is sometimes high intellectual furnishing without any true refinement. That which really refines is purity of mind and heart.” (author unknown)

While being polite is part of refinement and enhances our personality and bearing, the motives can be rather selfish. True refinement seeks to make relational paths as smooth and peaceable as possible, it desires to make others feel comfortable in our presence…

Just a few days ago, my twelve year old student pointed to a word in her English Book and timidly asked what that word meant. It was the word “bitch”. She must have heard that word being used in a derogatory way against another girl/lady and was wondering how that questionable word crept its way into her workbook…

It’s a teacher’s job to read in between the lines when the student asks a question, not only to answer her spoken question but the unspoken ones as well…

So, I simply answered, “A bitch is the Feminine for dog. You may have heard some people using this word on other girls or ladies. It is meant badly against the other woman. However, I hope you never use this word on another woman. A woman who uses such a word to label another woman is not a lady.”

I believe she was listening to me with her heart. I saw it in her eyes. I am grateful God gave me the opportunity to plant this little seed within her tender heart in the most natural of ways.

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