It is 3:26am as I write this and I just had another episode of gastric pain and nausea.
The past month has been the roughest, I feel ill everyday. (surprise, surprise, I look normal right?) The back and neck pains had gotten so intense that I could never find a comfortable position to sleep on at night, will be flipping about in bed feeling utterly frustrated and helpless…
I really don’t know what’s going on in my body, I don’t know what to do with myself anymore!
I get hunger pangs every two hours and have to eat. I didn’t realise how troublesome this can be (since I’ve always enjoyed snacking anyway)… but these hunger pangs are strange! Biscuits aren’t good enough, it has to be something more satiating like an egg, some soup etc…
2:45pm an egg tart
4:30pm biscuits (am at work)
7pm dying of hunger and ate a burger as I drove home from work
8:30pm arrived at cell group and hungry again
10:30pm Supper: congee, spaghetti in soup, tiramisu and a little cheese-baked seafood
1am HUNGRY AGAIN… had biscuits
3am Warm Manuka honey. Stomach pain, retching away at the sink, waves of pain…
This so-called food itinerary is just to illustrate the strangeness of what I’m going through… I don’t know what to do with myself anymore…
I am writing this because I want you to know that it’s not always a rosy picture of me having faith and trust in God all the time. I struggle with doubts too, and do not have the answers for everything.
This blog is a record of my journey, and I purpose to share as honestly as I can what the Lord teaches me through every blessing and trial that comes my way. This just happens to be one of the roughest and saddest patches of my life thus far.