Love, Marriage and the Single Person

Hello! I figured that I would like to introduce a new category in my blog – Love, Marriage and Singleness. Being unmarried, I’m obviously not qualified and in no position to give advice about marriage (laughs) but I know a couple of you readers out there are married, and so in my quest to learn and also prepare for marriage, I endeavour to share any useful snippets that I find from books or hear from older lovebirds. Heh. 🙂 

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This will be an introductory post, and forgive me if I’m making a lot of general comments here and there. I hope to delve into more specific topics, according to where my interest leads me.

LOVE makes the world go round, so it seems. Maybe not. But love definitely turns your world upside down. Ask someone who has just fallen in love, or ask a first-time parent. It is amazing how God has made such a great capacity in our hearts to love, though I am not referring to crushes, silly infatuations or flings. 

Singles are often at the receiving end of well-intentioned advice such as “God will bring the right person in your life when you learn to be contented.” While there is truth in such advice, God only knows the true state of each person’s heart and the deepest needs of that individual. He knows best, whether singleness or marriage is best for that person at a particular season. 

I believe the highest level of enjoyment and satisfaction in marriage comes when both individuals are so full with God’s love that there grows a need for a deeper outlet of expression – marriage. One should not look for a life partner for the purpose of seeking for love, though love is the precedent for marriage. Neither should personal fulfilment, loneliness or social pressure make one anxious about looking for a spouse.

However, because God has designed marriage as the closest and most intimate of relationships, it is no surprise that He has created our hearts to desire a soul mate who understands our hearts of hearts and accepts us just as we are. 

However, singles, do not despair! The first thing we should focus on and work towards is becoming lost in God’s love, being in love with our Creator so that we strive to please and serve Him first and foremost.

Then, what doest thou with thy heart full of love? Pour it out unto others! Find a needy child to invest in, adopt an old aunty from a nursing home, love your friends, love your family! There’s a reminder here though, that this love does not become a need-motivated and self-seeking love. Remind yourself that the purpose is to give, trusting that God will replenish your strength and provide the affection and reciprocal love that you need.

In one of my heart-to-heart conversations with my younger brother, he wisely said this, “If there is something else I would urge you to do, it is to continue giving. At work, with your students, at Seh Mia Huin, at home, at Sunday school. Don’t let that light die. As much as your health impairs your joy, give your best! It is an antidote to sorrow, when done with perfectly straight intentions. Then, when you can no longer give, find someone into whose arms you can fall. It can be anyone, really. God would be unable to disappoint you with His reciprocal, whatever its form.”

Lord Jesus, I pray for myself, and for my readers today. For the singles, help us to live purposefully and single-mindedly for You in this period of waiting. Let us sow faithfully into the marriages and lives of others, remove discontentment and envy far away from our hearts. As we purpose to live a life of purity, set apart the person you have in store for us. You are our provider, and we trust that You will not overlook this important aspect of our life. For my married friends, I pray God that you draw boundaries around their union. Remind them of the covenant they have made and the commitment that they have promised one another. In the busyness of life and many challenges, let not work and other distractions come above their relationship with one another and with You. Let there be such unity and transparency between both spouses so that the enemy does not have a loophole to enter and destroy. More importantly Lord, in whichever state we are in now, we choose to glorify You. Every circumstance You have placed us in is an opportunity to bring honour to Your name. Amen. 

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