…should not start with “I am sorry if I hurt you” or “I am sorry if you are angered by what I said”…
To me, it feels as though the offender is placing the blame on the offended for being hurt! Better not to apologise then, in that case.
A sincere apology could start with, “I am sorry I have hurt you by the careless remark I made last night…” for example.
Just in case you are wondering – No, I am not offended by anyone. 🙂
This post is inspired after reading a public apology a local politician made after he came under heavy criticism for the derogatory remarks he had made to a group of people recently.
His apology, “I am sorry if I have hurt the people involved” seems to be prideful and non-repentant to me.
I could safely say that learning to apologise correctly is part of a healthy relationship.
To truly understand what hurts a person deeply and to take steps to correct a mistake heals the relationship, but to blame the other party in a subtle, hidden way for being hurt is a sure way to bring a wider wedge to the relationship.
Careless words spoken in the heat of anger and emotion do happen.
Needs can be overlooked in the busyness and challenges of life.
We can unknowingly neglect a loved one for a period of time when work pressures escalate.
But these oversights or mistakes can be easily rectified if we choose to make it up to them and make it right with the people we love.