It’s amazing how God has granted me a remarkably normal life considering the gravity of my illness. So much so that at one point, I did not take my health seriously. (Forgetting to take my medication, eating whatever I wanted, pushing my body beyond limits by not getting enough rest etc) With the recent spate of illness and flares I am sternly reminded to not be careless and neglectful with my own body and health anymore.
But that’s beside the point…
I am just grateful to God for granting me such a full, blessed and fruitful life despite my frailty; His Word gives me hope and strength amidst pain.
I must admit that I feel rather worried and a little sad that my disease has not been in control of late and my steroid dosage have been yo-yoing a little…
In a flare – my Prednisolone dosage goes up, and when symptoms begin to cease, I gradually reduce the dosage according to the docs’ advice, the body starts protesting again and I find new areas of inflammation and pain.
Pain in my right knee now is another alarm that inflammation is taking place in my body. The pain does not bother me as much as the knowledge that my body is not rebounding and recovering well.
Yesterday evening, my brothers, mum and I went out to pick up some frozen yogurt before gallivanting around town in a car ride. I ordered a small portion of Tart Yogurt with peaches and almonds, and guess what the cup read?
I’m Small but Bold.
A reminder to me to be bold, be strong… (Not the “Nothing Can Knock Me Down” kind of Nebuchadnazzarian pride, but a word for me to guard against negativity and self-pity).
Proverbs 24:10 says, “If your faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small“…
I recall many days of pain where I prayed for strong arms in which I could fall into when weariness of heart and body overwhelmed. Nevertheless, deep within me, God in His grace has placed the determination and will within my spirit to make this life count for eternity and He has shown me again and again, how much He loves me through the love and care of the people around me.
The friends who cheer me up when I am down, my family who has cared for me unfalteringly, gracious acts of kindness in the smallest of ways that reflect the care of my Heavenly Father who watches from above.
YOU make me brave.
Some pictures from my time spent in New Zealand…