No Man’s Land

Whenever I come out from Kalimantan into Malaysia (be it Kuching, KL or Penang), I always feel slightly lost and dazed the first day. The bright lights of a supermarket, the big roads, luxurious houses and bathrooms (what you see as a common home bathroom is pure luxury to us, i.e sinks and taps, a sitting toilet, shower) all leave me slightly bewildered…

And yet, whenever I return back to Kalimantan, I go through the adjustment period all over again. The long drive home through the windy, narrow roads past little villages, going into an extremely small town with very, very few conveniences and amenities, also leave me feeling a little lost and sad. Thank God for my husband who really is my home and brings comfort and stability to this pining heart who really, does not fully belong in one place anymore.

In Malaysia, I no longer speak bahasa Malaysia but Bahasa Indonesia. But in Indonesia, my foreign accent and occasional fumbling of words give me away that I’m not one of them.

Nick vowed that in our marriage, we would be as Pilgrims, never quite having a place of our own. But I’m thankful that God gives us His grace to follow through what we have promised, to each other, and to Him.

I am thankful for the angels He places, the hospitality shown to us wherever we go. The kindness we experience mainly out of brotherhood in Christ, for we have no earthly, material blessing to leave them. But they continue to show graciousness and generosity to us.

Many people ask me how I do it. I don’t know the answer. If I were to think about being in Kalimantan for the rest of my life (goodbye to comfort forever, raising children away from our parents and family, no proper schools etc…) i would be fearful and unable to continue on. But God grants His daily bread which includes His grace apportioned for this day to obey Him. I obey Him a day at a time. That’s how I’m able to remain there, and do what I’m doing.

I just do it a day at a time.

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